It was finally, finally, finally time to go to Five Guys. I love Five Guys. Their fries, their peanuts, their burgers, I love, love, love it. All. That is why I feel remorse about how I score them. I mean, I know why, but they scored lower than RED ROBIN. Yeah. I know. Weird. The best I can tell is that while their burgers are good, I believe this particular critique might have been tainted. Why? I took a bite of Kurt's burger. And it was WAY BETTER.
The rules of this project clearly state that in order to keep a level playing field, all burgers tasted must be as similar as possible. So, I got the small burger. The burger with one patty. Kurt got the regular burger, the one with two. My burger really did pale in comparison, because, surprise surprise, more meat is better.
I should have known this was going to happen when I walked in, I should have seen it coming because Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison was playing on their Muzak system. It was warning me. This horrid song from the late eighties was telling me that while Five Guys is epic, there is something about it that is a little sad, a little bit like loss, and that, I found out, was the flavor of the meat on the Five Guys single burger in comparison to the double. Oh, Poison, how wise you turned out to be, to my great dismay.
When I broke my burger down, the hand-formed patty was quite thin, the vegetables were crisp and cold, but flavorless. The bun was appropriately mushy; the more of the burger you ate, the mushier it became. The fries were golden and salty and as delicious as you would hope for from potatoes from Idaho. The meat is neither organic or free-range, but it is absent of amoniated processing. The service is friendly, the eating area is clean and bright. The price at just under five bucks is spectacular. All this makes up the beautiful and fragrant rose, and the thorn, oh the thorn of not enough meat. Why oh why did I have to bite Kurt's burger?!!?!
Anyway, the scores were as followers:
KURT:
SARA:
See what I mean? That score is just so low, it is almost embarrassing. Anyway, this is science, so I have to stand by it. Just know that I regret many things about this particular critique, that I took several bites of Kurt's burger, that my realization about the vegetables was such a shock, and that there is a certain horrid wisdom to one of Poison's more popular songs. The whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
The rules of this project clearly state that in order to keep a level playing field, all burgers tasted must be as similar as possible. So, I got the small burger. The burger with one patty. Kurt got the regular burger, the one with two. My burger really did pale in comparison, because, surprise surprise, more meat is better.
I should have known this was going to happen when I walked in, I should have seen it coming because Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison was playing on their Muzak system. It was warning me. This horrid song from the late eighties was telling me that while Five Guys is epic, there is something about it that is a little sad, a little bit like loss, and that, I found out, was the flavor of the meat on the Five Guys single burger in comparison to the double. Oh, Poison, how wise you turned out to be, to my great dismay.
When I broke my burger down, the hand-formed patty was quite thin, the vegetables were crisp and cold, but flavorless. The bun was appropriately mushy; the more of the burger you ate, the mushier it became. The fries were golden and salty and as delicious as you would hope for from potatoes from Idaho. The meat is neither organic or free-range, but it is absent of amoniated processing. The service is friendly, the eating area is clean and bright. The price at just under five bucks is spectacular. All this makes up the beautiful and fragrant rose, and the thorn, oh the thorn of not enough meat. Why oh why did I have to bite Kurt's burger?!!?!
Anyway, the scores were as followers:
KURT:
- Flavor: 9
- Juiciness: 9.5
- Vegetables: 8
- Bun: 6
- Synergy: 9
- Value: 8
- Source: 5
SARA:
- Flavor: 6.5
- Juiciness: 7
- Vegetables: 5
- Bun: 5
- Synergy: 7
- Value: 8.5
- Source: 1.5
See what I mean? That score is just so low, it is almost embarrassing. Anyway, this is science, so I have to stand by it. Just know that I regret many things about this particular critique, that I took several bites of Kurt's burger, that my realization about the vegetables was such a shock, and that there is a certain horrid wisdom to one of Poison's more popular songs. The whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
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